How-to’s

You’ll never guess what WONDERS you can learn about here. Keep checking back.

How-to Make a Music Video by Mikal Shapiro

How to make a music video: write a song (after reading my “how to write a song” blog at myspace.com/mikalshapiromusic), play it for your built-in camera and mic. Remember not to practice it and it’s okay if you don’t edit it, either. Just make sure you throw some cool looking effect over it. Not only will it cover your blemishes and actual age (52) but it will give the whole work an aura of authenticity that your facebook friends will envy and your critics will call “edgy.” Unabashedly share it with the world wide web. Tokyo, here I come! When you become a star, you can thank me personally (through my indifferent youtube account). It’s pronounced Mick-AL like California. And Shapiro with a long “i” sound like “pyro” or simply “pie.” I suggest you hurry before I send in the copyright.

How-to Write a Song by Mikal Shapiro

First, eat a cookie. Then go back to sleep. Don’t wake up until your dreams start getting really disgustingly weird with scenes resembling an early David Lynch short starring your grandmother and her abnormally glossy lips. Then get up and write them down. Then play some minor chords like E minor or G minor (not Am–this isn’t another goddamn cowboy song). Eat another cookie. Now go back to sleep. Reawaken and finger pick a little–mostly just hammer-ons and pull-offs with your pinkie. Gradually increase your speed until it sounds like you’re a decent finger picking guitar player. This shouldn’t take long. Soon you’ll have a little ditty. Don’t forget to mention trains or your hometown. If your guitar is lying next to you on your pillow, you might not have to get out of bed to do this. Later, when you can’t take the pressure in your head any longer, you can record it and post it on your new myspace music page. That’s what I’m going to do. Just you wait.